I don’t know exactly why at some points in my life I will become emotionally numb. Laying here in my bed this morning- I feel so numb and blocked. It is totally strange to me that sometimes when I think about situations I have been in or triggers- nothing happens. It’s like my brain doesn’t even process it. But then other days,if I think of something that triggers me, even just for a few minutes, I get so depressed, anxious or scared.
http://ptsdusa.org/what-is-ptsd/get-help/ is a website I just found. You might be able to copy and paste it into your browser if you can’t click on it here. This website breaks down PTSD into 3 categories of reactions.
1. Re-Experiencing Symptoms- Vivid flashbacks, panic attacks, thoughts, images with intense emotions and more.
2. Avoidance Symptoms- Avoiding certain people, situations, numbing yourself by drugs, food, feeling “dead inside”, distant from others including family and more.
3. Arousal Symptoms- Insomnia, jumpy, self harm, abandon God, fear of further trauma, poor memory and more.
I honestly feel like I am in a cycle of between these 3 stages. I hope this helps someone out there understand or bring clarity to your own situation. I can’t type much more about this without getting too upset for the rest of the day. Til next time.