The Changed Relationship

Have you ever been really good friends with someone and then BAM it just changes? I have always thought too much or looked into things too much. But I really wonder why some people intimidate me one day and the next everything is fine. What is the deal?

I am intimidated by groups of people, loud people, abrasive people and people that look angry. It sounds silly but no matter how accomplished or self confident- I dwindle back into a puddle of insecurity. I feel like a dog exposing it’s belly to the alpha.

I have been doing some research and I guess I feel this way because subconsciously I feel threatened and in danger. They compared it to seeing s grizzly bear. And also an interesting fact is I subconsciously believe fear that I am not “deserving”.

I am going to try and practice 3 steps.

1. Seeing myself for who I am and accurately. I need to see myself as a strong independent person and  that no one can hurt me.

2. I need to see the other person accurately. They could be battling a fear that they aren’t good enough. Just because someone thinks I am the bad guy doesn’t mean I am. What is driving them? I shouldn’t take it so personally.

I have to un-train my mind that people do things for a personal attack towards me. My mother, everything she did to me was personal. When I see the people for who they are I will grow more compassionate and wise.

3. Forgive them and choose to validate them.

Focusing on love will diminish my fear, or at least I hope.